07 ruralscoop

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

August 20, 2007

Story Inn Offers a Scoop

This is no Garden-Variety Product

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When attorney Rick Hofstetter bought the Story Inn nearly a decade ago, he believed he had learned all there was to know about horses’ behinds. “I thought my practice as a litigator, and educator, had prepared me well” he says. “But I was wrong.”

Hofstetter now admits that he was ill-equipped to deal effectively with his wife’s ever-expanding herd of equines. “She has six of them now. They eat a lot. And the end-product from these ruminants is much in evidence around here.” The Story Inn is Indiana’s oldest bed & breakfast, located in southern Brown County.

As a high-horsepower lawyer, Hofstetter claims he could make piles of the stuff disappear without a trace “On a good day, I could collapse a year’s production from a Belgian into my briefcase. No longer. Now I must dispose of it the old-fashioned way”.

The Story Inn’s solution is elegantly simple: use what it can to enrich the extensive gardens onsite, and dish the rest out to guests and visitors in sealed plastic bags under the distinctive brand: “Story Inn’s Appropriate Rural Meadow Muffins”. “I may have lost my knack of processing this merchandise in bulk, but I will say, I have a far better nose for it now than I did as a partner in an Indianapolis law firm. It’s a lot like knowing the difference between a 1970 LaTour and a grocery store box wine”. His testimonial appears on the Meadow Muffin label:

"I have been engaged in the practice of law for more than a quarter-century. During that time, I have developed an acute nose for horse****. We enjoy this product in abundance here at the Story Inn. In my expert opinion, Brown County, Indiana, offers the finest appellation in the entire country." --Rick Hofstetter, Owner.

Story Inn Meadow Muffins are harvested, aged, composted, and dried onsite, so that their intestinal origin is hardly detectable, even to the most sensitive olfactory. The product (more accurately, by-product) is well on its way to becoming terra firma, and may be mixed with no less than five parts of garden soil to produce a rich, earthy loam. It can be purchased for a paltry $2 at the Story Inn, 6404 South State Rd. 135, Nashville.

Probable content analysis: Fescue (35%), Rye (25%), Kentucky Bluegrass (25%), and mixed Domestic Grasses and Sweet Clover (15%), with traces of wood shavings and urea. Probable digestive analysis: Hanoverian (20%), Azteca (15%), Lippezzaner (32%), Swedish Warm Blood (18%) and American Quarter Horse (15%).

The label also provides the following WARNING: “Since the passage of the Patriot Act, use of this product in a political context may no longer be protected by the First Amendment. KEEP OUT OF THE HANDS OF POLITICIANS”.

FOR MORE INFORMATION CONTACT:

Rick Hofstetter

(317) 590-3207